Carmel

We took Penelope to an upmarket shopping precinct today. She took a while to find a parking spot to her liking, and then asked for my credit card and diappeared with janet hanging on for grim death. Carmel is Marks and Spencer answer to Montereys Woolworths. More crucially and no doubt in deference to and considered flattery of Uk visitors with £s rather than dollars to spend, their sizing makes us all considerably smaller so we all are expected to buy more.
Once they have you in the shop it is like you have your own personal shopper. Things that are a normal escape route at home don't work here.
Eg "my parking ticket is about to run out and Idon't want a fine," is met by " where are you parked, we have valet parking right here" (which translates roughly as .. is a fine really worth spoiling your wifes shoppng experience for.) Clearly the answer was yes, and we escaped with only three items in the bag and an exhausted sales assistant chasing us down the street waving four garments in this years colours.
We returned to an anxious penelope who had two minutesleft on her ticket and was, trembling at the the sight of an oncoming traffic cop with a sensor that says how long you have been parked, and automatically writes the ticket based on the numberplate sensor. Close shave.